I am in a conundrum!
So much of my content is entirely scattered and not focused.
There are so many facets to everything that I am doing, interwoven with a tendency to change my mind all of the time in the name of something greater, that I never settle on anything!
Sure, I am sharing my story and it’s to generate Synchronicity, but where on Earth is it going?
Perhaps I should focus more on the ascension-aspect of my Story?
Maybe I have to make this into a ceremony of celebration.
I’ve been guided recently to practice a form of celebration via ceremony, but I was clueless as to what that would entail.
Should I make my mornings more intentional and appreciative of life?
Or maybe I should begin my zero-point-field meditations and consistently do them as a method to bow down to the Universe with respect.
I don’t know.
I wonder if I should do these meditations before I create and express myself here.
But I am in a space of seamlessly pondering yet again and it is baffling to me.
My best guess is that I am hitting walls as I am trying to advance my Self and particularly my financial aspects, past the edges of current boundaries.
But there is no Tryyyy aye aye ayyeee
I keep feeling overwhelmed — and my days seem to have less kick to them.
I haven’t done any form of body-work in the morning in quite a while.
Except for today.
Yet even though I did something I deem as very beneficial and a great way to increase energy for the day… today was one of my most irritable!
And it wasn’t a normal kind of irritation, either.
It was just strange.
When I prime myself and the priming does the opposite effect of its purpose… I tend to lose motivation and inspiration.
It’s quite likely that this happens due to my attachments, as often is the case.
There was a time about 2 years ago where I woke up and did literally everything you could think of in order to have an amazing day.
I had such a bad day that day.
That night, I drank beer until 3AM in the morning, stuffed myself with icecream, chips, and looked at blue-lit screens.
The next day?
Blew my mind.
Luckily, I am in a state of awareness where my momentum isn’t being lost when these instances happen, which was usually the case.
I found a new place to live!
It’s nearly $400.00 cheaper a month than the current place I live in.
It’s also 25 minutes less of a commute.
One of my future roommates is a yogi!
And it’s a month to month basis.
But will I be there for long?
It looks pretty enticing for a small change with large rewards, but my soul is seriously yearning for something so much more fulfilling that what I am doing for work.
I want to truly truly truly help the world, and while I can do that at and for any ‘position’… I ultimately want the core focus of what I am working for to resonate with my own vision.
In the meantime, I wish to make this material more effective.
So perhaps that’s the next step for me.
I am not entirely certain.
But maybe I am keeping myself too limited on the ideas that I have of my expansive soul-growth.
It’s very likely that this is the case.
Yet still – I feel the pull.
I feel the push.