Scheduling my own work has proven to be more ‘difficult’ than I thought it would be.
There were only two instances of working in a room by myself. The other times, I was surrounded by people.
I am not under any ‘forced’ schedule any more – which is freeing of course – and now I am led to discipline myself so I may complete everything that is asked of me.
What remains is a sense of feeling like I need to work, nearly always, but I imagine this will fade.
I haven’t sat down and worked for more than 4 hours at a time yet – so my mind sometimes worries about not getting enough done.
It keeps dawning on me that I am in an entirely new space … with far greater responsibilities.
It’s a freeing sensation. And pressurizing.
The pressure, though, is not necessary and it will be truly freeing to transmute this inclination.
I’ve noticed a great deal of Resistance towards moving forward.
It keeps me procrastinating I think, and it’s affecting my new work.
My trajectory is currently along the lines of major growth, and there are layers of me that are quite scared of it. I am entering into an entirely new domain – and if I am to actually move to Malaysia… then my whole life flips.
Synchronicity has led me to this new reality of mine.
I experienced it again and again and took action towards what it was seemingly suggesting.
And now I am ‘living my Dream’.
I was speaking with someone in a Facebook ‘Tribe’ that I am now facilitating, and I discussed what I do for work. She responded with, “Oh, that would be a Dream!”…
And so it is!
My turn to ‘truly’ help lead the collective through our ascension is here and building momentum. There won’t be ‘talking the walk’ anymore – I will actually be living what I have been speaking of and thinking of for about 7 years.
Technically – I am doing it Now.
It’s not a lot of time – but it’s a third of my life!
And speaking of time… my first week back in Upstate NY has felt much longer than the usual week for me. I thought it would go by fast, but I do suppose the NYC space creates a much quicker time warp.
I also do suppose that it’s nice to have a more relaxed feel of time.
‘Cause I don’t think I will be here for very much longer.
Plus I need to seriously relax.
My mind, legs, abdominal, shoulders, and neck are all quite tense.
I feel myself tensing up on an automatic basis.
This has been going on for quite a long time, and I can’t imagine the sense of peace I will feel once this resides. Working out is going to help me tremendously with this – and a more disciplined routine of meditation and work will as well.
I have not been exercising for a long time … which is quite exciting to think about for me considering how relaxed and in flow I already feel.
I know I just mentioned that I am tense all of the time – but from my relative stand point – it’s significantly lower than it was when I was living and working in the city.
Kundalini yoga helped a lot when I went, but I hardly ever did.
Also – eating less meat or higher quality meat will surely help me with this, too.
And getting outside more … which will be much more enjoyable once the temperatures rise here.
So you see there is so much I could be doing.
Drink less coffee – drink more water.
Knowing that I am not doing all of these things while remaining quite happy with my current state of being is an interesting thing. The need to begin exercising is here, however, since my new responsibilities are going to require me to be on top of my Game.
Interestingly enough – in order to get to this ‘Dream’ of mine that I am now living – I had to not be on top of my game.
Each time that I started the momentum for wonderful growth, I was set back and was eventually intuitionally led to stopping the trajectory each time.
Once I was finally okay with this pattern – I then entered into my ‘Dream’.
It was quite difficult to be OK with any lack of perfection.
Definitely a tenser time.